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I imagine it is very confusing for you to see your daughter reacting terribly to your pregnancy, when you might have expected her to react with excitement. However, change is hard for all of us, and especially for children, when we don't feel we have any control over that change and how it will impact us. Teenagers can have particular difficulty with these kinds of changes because they're already dealing with so many changes and stresses inside themselves. Even though she hasn't been able to say it, your daughter may actually be scared or overwhelmed by this unexpected event that will affect her life in ways she can't predict. She may be fearful that she will lose you or her father's attention at a time when she really needs it (even though teenagers act like they don't). So, I would wonder if you can acknowledge that she seems upset, and see if she can tell you what about this is really difficult for her. Just try to listen without defensesiveness with your goal being to understand as much as you can about her concerns about the baby. Then, if you're able to reassure her, do. If these conversations become explosive or don't seem to help the situation, consider consulting a family therapist who specializes in working with adolescents to help your family through this time of transition. This is and will be a big adjustment for all of you. It might be a good idea for all of you to explore how this will change your lives and your relationships. Sometimes it's easier to do that with an impartial party, like a therapist, helping out. Good luck to you.
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